Computerized Granny

When I sit down at a piano keyboard and place my fingers on the keys, whatever sounds I hear in my head, are played by my fingers. This is God given.

I take no credit at all for it. I believe my dad had the same talent on a violin.


A keyboard, or piano if you will, is not a machine. When I look at a machine I might just as well look at a blank sheet of black paper. Oh yes, I can learn steps - say 1-9, and if they operate perfectly, then I can manage til something goes wrong. Years ago, I secretly gave away a couple of cheap typewriters as soon as they needed new ribbons because I didn’t want the tears and heartbreak of trying to change them myself. Believe me here, I am not a person who cries easily but confronting a hurt machine causes me to weep copiously.


Two or three times after my husband died, one of my kids would say they thought I would enjoy a computer. Then they would tell me of all the wondrous things a computer can do. That meant absolutely nothing to me. But one day, I heard my son at my back door, calling, Mom, come open the door! Of course, he had his own key but his arms were full. I’ve never seen so many big boxes and they multiplied right there before my eyes. Yep, it was a computer and the beginning of my downfall. Bruce stayed with me that week end to get me started then Dee came the following week end. They double teamed me! They kept saying if I broke it, it could be fixed so that did give me some courage. I’m not sure how long it took me to feel even slightly comfortable but gradually, gradually, I got there.



For a time after my husband died, I’d been taking various courses that interested me, at Augusta State. Not more graduate courses just mostly fun things. A close friend, a recently retired Clinical Psychologist, and I decided to take the Computer for Idiots Class [not its real name]. About half way through the course that was moving along very slowly, I was trying not to jump out of my skin, when an old man in the back, held up his mouse and said, ”Now tell us again what this thing is for?” I very quietly and quickly gathered my stuff and walked out. I could just see the next day’s headline. ”Enraged woman beats up pot bellied old man with his mouse during a computer class at the college.” I did not return.

I am well aware that most folks in my age bracket don't ever touch a computer.

Since I was president of my Garden Club, I had an absolute blast finding information, then printing it for my members. I used reams of paper and gallons of all colors ink. They were regaled with every plant from petunias to poke ”salet” to good old pig weed. We had a wonderful club where it was understood that we were not to be asked to do anything but meet for lunch at the Augusta Country Club, once a month, and act as hostess about once a year, along with two or three other women. My friend, Anna, was Treasurer for years which involved mostly taking up the lunch money and paying. I was either Program Chairman [V.P.] or President, switching around every two years usually. We had thirty-five members, some in their 60’s, but most 70 and above. Two of our most energetic members were in their 90’s. When it came to flower arranging, we’d all been there and done that so this was largely social. I adored that group and had lots of happy times with them. I’m not sure but it is possible that I had the only computer in the group which gave me a certain status as being brilliant!

People, possibly old with plenty of time, like me, sent all kinds of fun stuff. I got tons of jokes, little stories, and anything one can find in print plus lots of pictures. Certain people that I am close to accused me of sending the same jokes several times and no doubt, I did.

Nowadays the material usually falls into several categories:



POLITICAL- I didn’t come here to fight.

I am very Conservative with a few liberal streaks. This is nothing new for me, I’ve pretty much always been this way. Political parties have completely reversed themselves in my lifetime. In his lifetime, my dad was a staunch Democrat, but he’d have a difficult time with that party these days. By the same token, ultra conservatives in the Republican party pretty much turn me off. For me the trick is to only share information with folks who mostly agree with me. Since I am not going to change you --- and you are not going to change me, the only reason to send something that is going to make you angry is just meanness. And, yeah, I am disgustingly crabby sometimes but not too often, I trust! If I get too many snide comments, I just delete that person. It is quite satisfying!



RELIGIOUS - Several different categories here.

Sweet Inspirationals - I usually enjoy these and often share them. You know, feel’umgoods !

You're going straight to hell--- not if you can’t catch me! Delete delete delete –

Pass Alongs – only 5% of all humans are ________. Fill in the blank, as in, NOT Ashamed of Jesus, usually. The devil writes these and since he’s no friend of mine, I delete quickly.

Jesus Ran By My House---- [or town] for a quick visit but now he is gone and is going to your house. Do these folks not stop and think about what they are saying??? Jesus is in my heart and house ALL the time. HE is not going away. HE can be in yours too. But by cracky, HE is not running up and down the road!

Make Me Want to Barf Group--- there is this nice/sweet/pretty message of some sort,Then they ruin the whole thing by saying, send this to 23 people in the next 3 minutes or your teeth will fall out. If the so called miracle happens, it is an accident, folks.


EDUCATIONAL- these are mostly nice and I enjoy them. I do receive a lot of info about airplanes and cars but just pass them along. The travel ones and others often bring back good memories [or not, :0)] Just the other day, I watched a rather long travelogue about Rome and it made me so happy that I had not been there. I could hear my husband’s voice saying, “If you’ve seen one old building- or castle- or cathedral- or whatever, you’ve seen them all.” I would feel different if I were younger — but I’m not. These days, arthritis tempers the joy I used to have when traveling. That’s OK, everything has a season.


JOKES:
KID STORIES- having been one myself, I mostly enjoy these for the first 2 or 3 times each. However, some of the kids in these stories are grandparents now.

Church Stories- like kid stories, they have long gray hair.

CLEAN OR FUNNY? lots of each


PERSONAL LETTERS- ALWAYS GOOD TO RECEIVE. ALSO,

I LOVE PHOTOS .



NEWSPAPERS- I read several most days, depending on what’s going on in the world. When Bruce was in Iraq , I was often up by 5 or 6 o’clock scanning the news where ever I could find it.

I’ve enjoyed a comic strip, OVERBOARD, for years and have it on my favorites.



Of course, the bottom line here is simply Communication. That’s what makes the world go round and new methods are happening so fast I can’t begin to keep up. I have family and friends from one end of this country to another plus south to north. It is absolutely incredible that I can talk to my friend in northern California, one minute, and another friend in upstate New York , the next. Yes, we’ve been able to communicate through radio, TV, and newspapers for quite a long time. But an instant, personal chat without having to make a long distance call, is fun for me.


One night, over a year ago, I had the heebeejeebies, about 3 am. My son was in Iraq in harm’s way, and I was fighting the worry. I got up and sent him some little funny, not wanting to let him know I was so uneasy. About five minutes later, or less, a message came through, “Mom, what are you doing up this time of night? I am just fine.” I hadn’t fooled him for a minute.


My dad would have had a good time with a computer. He was so intelligent, he’d have picked it up quickly. Now, I thoroughly enjoy watching my grandchildren use them. When school is in session, I often have to wait for one of them to get home and undo some mess I’ve made!