Entertaining

I am no expert on the subject of entertaining but I do have ideas and suggestions that have worked well for me. I had good teachers -- from my mother and various family members to a very kind caterer who taught me a few tricks of the trade. In some areas I am self-taught simply because I used to read everything I could find on the subject.



In the late 1980’s I wrote an article mostly about Christmas entertaining and submitted it to Southern Living magazine. A couple of the secretaries in the trust department were kind enough to type it for me on their own time. I didn’t type. Well, Southern Living turned me down and I thought that was the end of it. Several months later, one of the secretaries called me and said, check out the new Southern Living. Right there, word for word, was my article. It named a staff writer as author. She had submitted it without changing a word. I’ve never submitted anything else but if I did, I’d surely copyright it.

Maybe I should be flattered that my article was at least published --- but I’m not.

I had sent a copy to my son, a Company Commander, stationed in Germany. He called and asked my permission for him to copy and distribute the piece to his young officers. Now, that really did flatter me!



The bottom line to any entertaining is to help folks feel at ease and comfortable in your home. If you are nervous and uptight, that feeling will spread and infect your guests. Especially, if you are usually uneasy or just new at this, then plan ahead and make lists. Always do as much ahead as possible. Try to think ahead and plan what you would do in case of emergencies.

My husband was a banker, in a fairly small town. That is why I got caught up in so much entertaining. We bought a big, old, white frame house that we loved - just perfect, we thought!


For one of the first parties we had at Christmas, after moving to Augusta, I thought I’d remembered absolutely everything. With two toddlers underfoot, I did lots at night after putting them to bed. On the night before that party, I realized that I had not even thought about what I could wear. I had a pretty loden green and teal pull over sweater but no skirt to wear with it. I did not want women arriving in long dresses to feel over dressed nor ladies in short dresses to feel awkward. So I found a piece of loden green, suede cloth I’d bought at a remnant sale and a tube of fabric glue. I glued together a long skirt to wear with my sweater and it worked out just beautifully. It had overnight for the glue to set up and I just pinned the waist band closed cause I didn’t have time to make a button hole. Essentially, I wore a skirt and sweater but it was to the floor so looked kind of festive. Also, I learned that the long skirt mostly covered up my shoes so I could get by wearing flats. My next door neighbor was a nervous wreck, so afraid my skirt was going to fall apart at any second. You know, I wore that skirt for years and it washed and dried like a dream!


My next door neighbor and close friend used to trade kids with us if we were having a large party, or if they were, we’d keep their child. When Dee was small, maybe two or so, we’d had dinner guests and had moved back to the living room to visit. I heard one of the men say, “Honey, it’s nice to see you but aren’t you getting cold?” There sat my tiny daughter, naked as the day she was born, yellow curls and all, entertaining from the stair steps.


Mother used to say that if you serve good food and plenty of it, then the rest will work itself out. She was under five feet tall and not at all shy. I would love to know what she’d say to guests who announced that they were vegetarian; or couldn’t eat fat; or preferred their food salt free. She was a nutritionist and could surely prepare any of those foods but I’m guessing she would suggest they eat elsewhere because she was not going to ruin good ingredients.


Years ago, my husband was told he could control his cholesterol through diet. I immediately went into action - bought all the books; changed my way of cooking etc. It was a real chore trying to follow that diet to the letter. Well, the cholesterol did not come down so I started questioning him about his lunches down town. It was bar-b-q one day, ribs the next, fried chicken etc. I threw up my hands and started cooking good food again and he went on meds. Once again, we could have people over and not worry about the food tasting awful.

I’ve never had any problem with high cholesterol, then or now.


When thinking of having a party, if you plan it at the time people normally eat a meal, then you should expect that they are most likely going to make a meal on your refreshments. In some ways, this makes it easier. Place a large platter of meat at one end of the table, usually ham. I like Honey Baked because I can cut into the slices while leaving the half ham standing. Sam’s usually has half hams, pre-sliced that are quite good. Have a basket of good, sliced, smallish rolls, next to it. Never place a commercial container of mustard on your elegant tablecloth. It will ruin your cloth, because it won’t wash out.

I like to place something at the opposite end of the table of equal importance. We like seafood, so it would be a mold or something in the chafing dish. Also, we have used a turkey breast. Boiled shrimp is nearly too expensive these days, crab claws the same. I have used thin sliced prime rib or beef tenderloin.

On each side of the table, depending on the size, place one or two other dishes. I like to use a veggie tray made by me. They often don’t eat it so I am all set to make soup the next day. On the other side, have a fruit tray. They will eat more of that but leftovers are welcome.

One dish that our family likes, including our kids, is a molded egg salad with caviar topping. Just boil 6 or 8 eggs and use all to make egg salad, being sure to use about half a stick of melted butter and enough mayo to hold it together. When chilled, the butter will not only taste good but will cause the salad to hold together. This is one of the few times I’ll ever say not to add salt. Line a bowl with plastic wrap – one that fits nicely on a tray or plate you want to use. I like to use a kind of deep, stainless steel bowl that came in a set, years ago. Now, fold the Saran wrap over the top and chill overnight, if possible. Turn out onto a platter, which will be easy since the plastic wrap will help it pop out and kept its shape. Put sour cream on the top, allowing it to drip down an inch or two. Carefully blot red caviar and top the sour cream with it. Serve with melba toast. Caution: do not allow the eggs or caviar to come in touch with anything but glass or stainless steel. It can turn an awful green color so not the place for your silver.


Buy a good size bunch of parsley and rinse it really well, then chill until needed. Garnish everything lavishly. Next, break pretty grapes into small bunches and place them on the parsley for the ham platter. Use washed and patted dry cherry tomatoes on other dishes. The parsley is not expensive and makes a really pretty decoration. If you go ahead and remove the long stems before chilling, you can poke it around everything and it only takes a minute.

In Augusta, we often had to contend with a guest that ate all the garnishes off my platters. I quickly learned to keep plenty on hand to quietly replenish those he sneaked. The same man, one of the wealthiest in town, would station himself at the table and eat for hours, it seemed. That taught me to keep small plates on the table. I would grab a plate and say, “Come on John [not his real name] and let me fill a plate for you. I just know you want to visit with everyone. Let’s see now, I know you want parsley, grapes, and tomatoes, but what else?” That man died shortly after Tony and the first remark made by a member of our family was “…at least we’ll no longer have to guard the food at parties!”

In the spring of 1996, the daughter of our dear, long time friends, was planning her wedding. The rehearsal dinner and of course the wedding were taken care of. The problem was what to do with the crowd who was arriving on Thursday, in preparation for the Saturday wedding. The groom’s family and many friends were arriving from England. We offered to throw a pig pickin’, as they say in east Tennessee, because the weather would probably be about right for a party around the pool in our large back yard. We felt it was a good solution for jet lagged folks who could just throw on shorts, relax, and eat my husband’s delicious bar-b-q he’d had on our large grill since morning.

I knew some of the British folks were vegetarians, and I worried how to include them.

My job was to prepare the rest of the food so I consulted an old and dear friend from London. “Just baked beans,” she said, “-and plenty of them!” OK, I replied “I’ll use canned Bush’s beans but how can I jazz them up?” She was horrified! “Don’t add one thing to them, they want them plain!” I baked a full, 9x13 inch pan, in the oven and they inhaled them almost immediately. So I just heated some on top of the stove to refill the pan. Then, I looked around in time to see another friend, who had come over to help me, just dump beans right from the cans into the serving dish. They ate those too - then I was out of beans. Of course we had plenty of other food but I’ll always have a place in my heart for Bush’s Vegetarian Baked Beans!

Before the wedding plans were complete, we learned that the bride was upset because she didn’t want to pay the outrageous price for the limo to drive the bride and groom two blocks - from the church to the club where the reception was held. My husband offered, so he donned a chauffeur’s cap, wore his black suit, and drove my white Caddy and it looked most elegant as he ran around opening doors, etc. He was a good sport and thoroughly enjoyed that wedding.



A table centerpiece can be most anything .It doesn’t have to be a flower arrangement, candles etc. You can even use the veggie tray or fruit tray in the middle of the table. Or just place three or five pieces of fruit in a pretty container. I love pottery so have often used pottery containers for food plus decorations. We have a few good pieces but fill in with everything from a couple of platters marked down at Kroger to a bowl from the dollar store. I did have some nice washed rocks that were interesting with a couple of flowers from the yard, stuck down in them. My neighbors, before I moved here, and I had an agreement about flowers. They were welcome to cut anything in my yard and I in theirs. Every now and then, I’d look out and see someone snipping a bloom or two and know they were having guests.

We always serve drinks from the breakfast room table so everyone is not in and out of the kitchen. That’s fine with me as it keeps the worst of the mess out of the living room and dining room. I prefer letting folks wait on themselves and never have hired help at parties.


One such night, I heard the wife of the Chairman of the Board saying she’d catch something—someone? - if they’d just slide down real easy. Oh, Lord, my toddler daughter at it again. Ann had walked into the kitchen, happened to glance up, and there sat Miss Dee on top of the refrigerator! During those years, there was nothing that child would not climb on. She spent lots of time sitting on the top crossbar of the huge swing set next door. No, she never fell.


One of the most refreshing fruit punches I’ve ever drunk or served, is likely the easiest. Just start with the 64 oz. size bottles of White Grape Juice and the 64 oz size bottle of Ginger Ale. You can use Fresca in place of ginger ale for lower calorie punch. Try to keep the mix about even as you add it to the punch bowl. It is best to chill the liquids before hand and to make the ice ring from the mixture as well. I usually make two ice rings so I have an emergency one in the freezer, if needed. I just select a stainless steel bowl or a four cup ring mold that will fit into the container I’m using for a punch bowl. Pour some of the mix into the mold; add fruit if desired; and freeze. For fruit, I like to just use washed seedless grapes with stems carefully removed, also pineapple chunks. [I never serve punch with any kind of alcohol in it. Folks are welcome to have a drink at my house but my punch is safe for children and nondrinkers.]


Bruce likes to cook or at least he said he does not like to eat out all the time. He has been a good griller for years but now he has branched out. I get a kick out of watching my children get in the kitchen and cook together. Both enjoy trying different or new (to us at least) recipes or foods. Another good part of this is that our kids are trying new foods also. Michael is learning that real men do whatever needs to be done.

So much is different now. We no longer have the big parties but we still enjoy having people come to our home for visits. They are surely more interesting and we actually get to spend time with our guests. Dee prefers just having folks for very informal dinners where she does all the cooking, or sometimes we have pot lucks when she has her adoption groups. When you think about it, you prepare about the same way. We’ve almost come full circle to the way my parents enjoyed entertaining.