What I've Learned After 53 Years

On Feb.8, I will have been keeping house 53 years. Difficult for me to believe. There are hundreds of real household hints but everyone knows those, I’m sure. Today, I was thinking about various ways I have of solving mostly minor problems, and just general tips.


Seniors will find these most useful, but they could apply to just about anyone.


Flashlights

Keep one in every bedroom. Guests appreciate them and everyone needs them during power failures. Also keep one in the cosmetic case you always carry on trips. You should have one or two good, powerful lights plus extra batteries. We keep all batteries in a special box in our laundry room, so everyone knows where to get a battery. For all else, there are very inexpensive, small flashlights to be found in drug stores, dollar stores etc. Not too long ago, during an electrical storm in the middle of the night, I was in the bathroom, in a rented condo, when the power shut off. I was able to feel my way to my cosmetic case and my little flashlight, which eased my anxiety quite a bit.

In the 1990’s, Tony and I were on a cruise ship docked in Bermuda. We had eaten an early dinner and returned to our suite. At around nine or ten o’clock, the ship lost all power. We were fine and could see the lights of the city across the water. We had nice, wide windows. However, folks returning to our deck were really in the dark. I believe there were eight, maybe just six, suites on our deck, most occupied by “old” people. J When our butler came to check on us, I offered him my flashlight and he was grateful to have it. He told us that was the last time he’d ever be caught without a light.

Unfortunately, that was the last time I had a butler.


Preparation H

Go ahead and laugh then listen up. Trying to lessen the pain of an ingrown toenail, one night, I found a tube of Preparation H ointment, in the guest bathroom. Now this is what is written on the tube: Soothing Relief, Shrinks Swollen Tissue, Protects Irritated Tissue. That was exactly what I needed! After using for a couple of days, I just clipped the toenail.

A close friend, a surgeon, was visiting after that when I noticed him limping. Yep, he had an ingrown toenail but hadn’t had time to get it fixed. Well, when I told him my cure, he just hooted. However, two or three days later, he called to tell me it really worked. After that he liked to quiz me about my “doctoring” methods.

One Sunday, after returning from church, I found my tube of Prep H all chewed up. Knowing full well that our Basset Hound, Molly, had sniffed it out, I made an emergency call to our vet. When he stopped laughing, he had me read the ingredients to him. There it was among other things, shark liver oil 3.0%. Needless to say, Molly was not harmed but I did make her stay outside the rest of the day, just in case she needed to poop!

Years ago we heard a comedian joke that the Preparation H box actually says "Do not ingest orally." Someone, somewhere, must have done that! Molly couldn't read that warning, though...


Glove Box

We tend to check them for trips but should equip them for around town as well. Along with everything else, a small notebook , pencil, and pen come in handy. Because I often wait in the car while others do short errands, I keep a crossword puzzle book in mine. Of course, a flashlight should be there too.


Snakes

In the south, we have snakes. A wise person once told me that snakes go where they can find food. They are meat eaters so it is a good idea to rid your property of insects etc. They are also bad to rob birds’ nests. If you notice birds swooping, dive bombing, chattering etc, there may be a snake out there. Snakes do NOT like sprays such as wasp spray so it is an easy solution. We prefer the kind that shoots about 20 feet! During a severe drought, some time back, a member of my family who lived out from town a bit, told me of a huge snake near her front door. I suggested she place a pan of water away out in her yard because he was obviously just thirsty. I held the phone away from my ear while she squealed that she refused to water the snakes!


Cell Phones

We may have been the last people in Atlanta to buy cell phones for our teens. But I’d have insisted on doing it sooner if I had realized the peace of mind it provides me --- to say nothing of the kids. A few months ago there were police choppers all around the house because some criminals had escaped and were in the area. Dee couldn’t call or text the kids to make sure they were OK, and that’s when we decided to just buy them cheap cell phones.


Grabbers

I have three long handled items that we call grabbers. I can pick up most anything without having to bend over. I keep one in my bedroom, one in the kitchen, and one in the family room. Most of the big chain drug stores carry them with their invalid supplies. No, I am not an invalid but my arthritis can cause bending to be painful. (Below is what one looks like.)

Cruise Shoes

Several friends are going on cruises this spring. For me, the nicest help was my refusal to wear high heels on a ship. Of course, one wants to dress up sometimes and even wear formal clothing. I solved the problem by packing a couple of long skirts that essentially covered the tops of my shoes. I had gold, flat heeled sandals plus other dressy flat heel shoes. There is so much walking on cruise ships that shoes become important. Unlike a friend who swore he gained 20 lbs on a cruise, I gained nothing and may even have lost a pound. The big ships have wonderful seafood and salads and that saved me. I mean, who couldn’t live on shrimp cocktail and lobster?

By the way if your husband wears a tux, be sure he has at least two shirts, more if indicated. No point getting bogged down with laundry. Now here’s the fun part, when you return home, you can adopt the shirts.


Signal Horn

This is great to call someone in another part of the house if you need help. I have two of them. Often, it is easier to push a button than it is to yell. They are possibly found in sporting goods sections. My son bought mine, probably at Walmart.

Ceramic Heater

Dee bought me the cutest, little, electric, ceramic heater for my bedroom. It is just a tad bigger than a football (without the ends) and it puts out lots of heat, plus it can be regulated. My part of the house is kind of off to the side and sometimes needs a little extra heat. I’ve really enjoyed this and during those awfully cold nights, Coco snoozed in front of our tiny heater. I hesitated to use it at first because I had heard so many horror stories of fires and accidents with space heaters. This one is safe, though. It automatically cuts off if it is overturned.


Leg Cramps or Spasms

I have suffered from leg cramps for years, often coming in the middle of the night. Quick remedy – potato chips and/or tonic [which is just quinine water] – both are best. Longer term remedy- potassium pills, bought over the counter where vitamins are sold. I first heard of the potato chip remedy when I got painful leg cramps, on the Autobahn, in Germany. As soon as he could, Bruce pulled off and bought the chips. I don’t know where he heard of it. Now, most often, we buy a package containing several small bags of chips. They stay fresh and I can keep a bag in my room.


KITCHEN HINTS
Dee and I are trying to teach the kids to cook and wash up properly in the kitchen, and here are some of the tips we have developed in recent years.


· Novice Cooks Take Note: Wash your hands frequently while cooking.

· When something is about to burn, move the pot away from the burner; adjust; then return carefully.

· Wooden spoons are your friends, wash them by hand.

· Wash knives by hand. Never soak anything with wood attached.

· Always PREHEAT the oven unless the recipe says otherwise. Cakes don’t bake properly when placed in a cold oven.

· Wash your hands with hot soapy water after handling uncooked chicken! Wash everything the chicken touched, too.

· Don’t serve food you have not tasted with a clean spoon or don’t be insulted when people grab the salt shaker.

· As you cook, taste. It’s the best way to adjust seasonings.

· Never talk on the phone or turn your back while: scrambling eggs, making a white [cream] sauce, or making gravy.

· When an item smells like it is burning, it probably is.

· Don’t leave the oven door open when you remove a dish to check for doneness.

· Always leave the oven door open a little at the top when broiling.

· Don’t raise the lid on a pot of rice until the proper cooking time has finished.

· Wipe off the bottom of any glass dish before putting in the oven, otherwise it might break if it’s wet.

· Rare beef will not poison you. Fake vomit sounds will result in your eating alone just before you give the kitchen a thorough cleaning. [gee, wonder what inspired this one?!]

· On the other hand, undercooked chicken is a no no.

· Elbow length oven mitts on both hands are not needed when putting a cold dish into the oven.

· My teeth are nearly as old as I am. Therefore, I will not eat anything that may cause them to break or remove a filling. (I have to remind the kids of that sometimes.)

· Do not stack china plates on top of glasses in the sink.

· Wash your hands before unloading the dishwasher.

· Do not place the sugar spoon in your tea then return it to the sugar bowl.

· Measure and place all ingredients for a recipe in one spot before starting to cook.

· Did I mention this before? WASH YOUR HANDS! With soap!



I feel so sorry for grandparents who are off on cruises and European trips. They are missing half the fun of hanging out with their grandkids, and those special good night kisses right after the dog has been smooched.


In the immortal words of Julia Child, Bon Appetit!