Accentuate the Positive

I never thought I would spend the final years of my life living with my daughter and grandchildren, but it has worked out very well for all of us. My grandchildren benefit from having me around, and I benefit from being around them, and staying mentally active, even as I slow down physically. I am there as a sounding board for them, a tutor, and sometimes a disciplinarian. They give me great joy, most of the time. [When they get on my nerves, I go in my room and shut the door!]


I am fortunate to have grandchildren who are good hearted and compassionate.

Even though I will be 76 years old in a couple of weeks, my darling13 year old grandson will come into my room, as he did today, and say, “Granny, it is time for your nap. I’ll wait while you run to the bathroom.” I should explain that there have been few days in the last 30 or so years that I have not had a late afternoon nap. Presently, my best nap spot is a wing back chair and ottoman, in our family room. It is helpful if someone lays the afghan over my legs because my arthritis prevents my leaning over to do that. Thus, Dee or one of the kids always try to help me. Coco waits, then snuggles up to my feet and has herself a little snooze too.

The other day, Dee and Mike were going to an afternoon movie. As Mike said, he wanted to get me settled before he left. This is a fairly tough little guy, but he looks after his Granny. My 30 or 40 minute rest does me a world of good. I got in the nap habit years ago, when the children were growing up. I always cooked a complete meal from scratch, every day. So it would be late by the time I was out of the kitchen, at night. The nap was a big help.

Helping me get ready to nap is not the only nice thing my grandchildren do for me. They both seek me out to talk, especially Alesia. I like to share their lives, and we talk often.

At night, when Alesia comes home from a date or the church Bible group she usually attends on Thursday nights, she comes into my room for a visit. I’ve never told her to do that but I do look forward to it. I also enjoy the after school chats.

Coco adores the children, too, and seeing her interact with them is adorable. Coco also misses the children terribly when they are in school. For some reason, for the last couple of weeks Coco has gone upstairs after everyone leaves in the mornings, jumped into Alesia’s bed and had herself a morning nap. Alesia’s bed is accessible. Mike’s bed is an old iron bed that my in laws started housekeeping with nearly 90 years ago. It is too high for Coco.

Bruce also loves to be with the kids. Seeing him with them is a joy to me.

When Bruce comes, he has two shadows – three, if you count Coco. No matter how mundane the trip to Home Depot or any other place, the kids want to go with him. For a person accustomed to living alone, he handles them like an old pro. I’ve never heard him raise his voice or scold the kids yet they mind him without question. He always backs Dee so she has a bit of a respite when he is here.


Tutoring Michael when he first came home was a labor of love. He learned quickly, but it was a real challenge sometimes to get him to pay attention. I was rewarded by how well he did in school, though, from the start.

Last year, when I attended a Parents’ Conference with Dee, regarding Mike, I really admired the principal of the elementary school. She runs a fine school and seemed very much aware of all that was going on, including exactly what the children were studying that week. Dee told her about my tutoring efforts with Michael. As we were leaving, she whispered in my ear ”You can come teach for me, anytime!” Now, didn’t that make me feel good!

When Dee brought each of her children home, Alesia from Russia and Michael from Kazakhstan, neither spoke English. However, they learned rapidly, both vocabulary and grammar. Only once in a long while, will they need help with a word. One day recently, I asked Mike what his mother was doing. ”Oh”, he said, thinking hard, ”she’s outside –uh - wiping.” After a double take and a stifled giggle, I saw Dee sweeping the lanai.

When she had been home just a short time, Alesia was sitting at the kitchen table one night staring in frustration at Dee, and finally she spluttered, “Mom, shut your – your – cave!” Now we joke about it. “ What did you do with the bubble gum I gave you? Oh, I put it in my cave!”

The other night, Mike came into my room with a math paper on multiplication of fractions. His math book this year doesn’t explain how to do things, which is maddening to all of us trying to help him. I said, ”OK, Granny will solve all your problems!” teasing him. Mike responded, “Grannies are just like books!” Well, dang, wonder what else I know?

Now Mike gets a kick out of calling me Book – my new nickname.


Being a senior is often tough, but I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. There are some truths I’ve tried to teach my children and grandchildren. One important one is to be cheerful and positive. Life is just a lot easier if you can look on the bright side. Laughing is easier than crying. Anyone remember the old Johnny Mercer song “Accentuate the Positive”? I can still her it, in my head, ”Ya got to, accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. / Latch on to the affirmative, don’t mess with Mr. In Between.”